Is Whole Foods really worth it?  

From my experience last Monday, I would have to chime in a resounding NO!

I was in Chelsea, having just come from the doctor where I had a pneumonia vaccine and gave blood. I thought: "why not buy a really juicy, fabulous steak and make it for dinner with mushrooms and a salad?" I should interject here that before I even got to the meat department, I pushed my mini cart through the vegetables (scrawny asparagus $4.99 lb.) and fruits (apples $2.49-4.59 lb.). I finally chose some very tasty looking cremini mushrooms that didn't cost an arm and a leg and chanced upon some hydroponic organic watercress. Even the price for that was right ($2.49 for a 6 oz. bunch with the roots intact). So menu planned, I strolled over to the butcher where I saw the sorriest looking beef I have ever seen. Not only that, I'm sure the hired help behind the counter didn't have a clue as to what a veal shank was or a short rib, let alone a rib eye steak. There wasn't one cut that looked positively fabulous, and definitely nothing that yelled out to me "Eat me!" Everything was at least $22.00 lb (thinking to myself "what is this? Eataly?") so the cuts obviously have to be portioned "affordable". 

I suppose I should preface this next part with the story of a former friend, who always insisted on buying Italian sausage from Whole Foods and which, invariably, and I mean always, didn't taste Italian at all. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but I sprang for the Italian sausage with the parsley and garlic. Big mistake. 6 links, 2 lbs. and $12.00 later, I'm asking myself, "why am I doing this?" I felt raped. I'll get to how it tasted in a moment, but indulge me if you will while I continue my shopping saga.

I saw this fabulous organic chicken (4.5 lb. for about $10.00). I decided to get that and then I saw a delicious looking orange cranberry pound cake. It was even marked Kosher. Someone should shoot the Rabbi, because it was the driest, mangiest pound cake I have ever eaten. A pound of flour, a pound of sugar, a pound of butter. How can you go wrong? And it was $5.00! Entenmann's would have been - and is - better. Hang organic!

The one thing I liked about this whole experience was that I didn't have to wait in line for a register (lost our customer base have we? At 4:30 on a Monday, Fairway is packed with people; not so, our local Whole Foods.). I did, on the way there, though, notice that all the men in the store (this is Chelsea after all) were skinny and wearing Prada and product, while most of the women were on the plump side who hovered near the baked goods and the cheeses and the salad bar. Odd demographic. So here we are at the register. I buy a "green" shopping bag and the dolt behind the register immediately takes everything out of the paper shopping bag and starts to fill the one I just bought. I asked him to wrap the chicken in a paper bag and he puts it in a tightly fit bread bag. So all right, he doesn't want to give me a shopping bag, fine. What wasn't fine was the fact that he took the chicken and plopped it in the bag on top of the watercress, which was completely crushed by the time I got home. 

The sausage was definitely THE WORST sausage I have ever had (overpowering garlic aftertaste) and am now convinced that it wasn't my former friend's cooking but the lousy sausage. Or could it be both? Hmmmm .... in any event, I had to throw the sausage out; it was just a very expensive mistake.

It seems to me that a success story like Whole Foods would teach their staff how to pack a shopping bag, the balance of different weights and proportions, delicate food stuffs, heavy meats, etc. (everyone knows that you put sugar and flour, canned good, jars, etc., on the bottom, for instance!), and it certainly would behoove them to teach those teenagers behind the butcher counter a thing or two about cuts of beef, lamb, veal, pork and sausage. A smile every now and then wouldn't hurt either. And at these prices, it's almost absurd that  they're stingy with paper bags. And saying that they're ecologically sound is a total farce if you consider all the track lighting. This isn't rocket science! Any moron could figure out what their electric bills must be like.

The chicken as it turns out, made a delightful chicken soup (one of the breasts I gave to the dog). That and the 24 oz. package of imported pasta I bought were the best value. However, $50.00 later, I would have to say that I'll continue to shop at Fairway and at the Green Markets of New York City while Whole Foods can take their image-altering lighting and exorbitant prices and continue catering to the trendsetting ready-to-eaters and the salad bar sponge babies who are being bilked in their own organically invented world.